Dear Matt: My Boss Insulted My Wife And She Wants Me To Confront Him

The short answer: don't

October 15, 2020
Dear Matt

Dear Matt: My boss insulted my wife at a classy dinner event

Recently, my small company hosted a classy dinner event (no worries, all COVID-19 precaution friendly). While at the event, my boss met my wife for the first time. My passionate and intelligent wife is a teacher, and my boss made a comment which implied that she is ‘wasting her talents’. My wife was extremely insulted. We didn’t say anything at the time but she wants me to mention this to my boss. Should I?

-Hubby of An Insulted Wife


Dear Hubby of An Insulted Wife,

No. You should not mention it to your boss. Here are a few reasons why.

1. This happened a while back, and bringing it up now seems petty. 

2. Although he was rude, I’m sure he thought he was being complimentary. Not to defend his actions (and I don’t know the whole scene), but this isn’t as egregious as calling out inappropriate or prejudiced behavior.

3. He is your boss! Not that your boss has a Monopoly game ‘get out of jail card’ for everything, but is this the hill you want to die on? 

Your wife sounds amazing and probably doesn’t get enough love from the world when it comes to being a teacher. But let this one slide off. If it happens at the next dinner event, bring it up casually at the moment. “My wife is not wasting her talents…in fact, she has so many talents that it’s important she’s in our schools.” 

A counterpoint statement really calls out the asinine behavior in your boss implying your wife’s talents are wasted.