Glenn's Weekly Motivational-Stop Overcommitting Yourself!

May 14, 2019

Photo by iryna_boiko iStock / Getty Images Plus

How busy are you?  I'm not asking you for a detailed list of everything you do in a typical day, but if you're like our household, your life falls into 3 categories:

1.  What I have to do

2. What I feel I should do

3. What I want to do

What I have to do are the usual routine things like your job, cleaning the house, homework with the kids, chauffeuring them to their games and practices since having them Uber seems irresponsible, dinner, etc.

What I feel I should do are things like eating better, exercising more, visiting my mom, dad, grandparents or close friends, meditating, prayer, volunteering, etc.

What I want to do are things like traveling, sleeping, letting the phone battery die, wine tasting on a Tuesday afternoon, or binge watching Dead To Me on Netflix after calling in to work "sick".

Most of us overcommit to things in an attempt to please everyone in our lives, and in turn we feel extra stressed.  We make sure our kids play 5 different sports so that they stay off the drugs, we say yes to that dinner party at your cousin's house, we agree to host the Memorial Day picnic, we tell our co-workers it would be great to meet them for happy hour, and all of a sudden, things that were meant to spread joy, spread extra stress and extra entries into an already overcrowded iPhone calendar.

Depending on your Enneagram type, you may look at everything in category one as things that absolutely, positively, have to get done so that the world keeps on turning. You may look at everything in category 3 as frivolous and unnecessary.  Both statements are false.  When we take a step back and rearrange categories so that we balance the daily routine with the wish list, we can attempt to find our sanity throughout the storm. 

Stop overcommitting!  Make a list of what is truly important to you and if it's not on that list, stop doing it.  If having the kids play those 5 different sports gives you purpose and fulfillment, then do it.  If it drives you crazy, then have them pick which ones they truly want.  Perhaps they feel over committed too.   If it's too hard to agree to dinner parties, happy hours, or just having friends over, then don't do it.  Do it because it truly brings you joy, not because you feel guilty.  Your true friends will understand.

All my best to you as you strive to be the best version of yourself.  Your friends and family will thank you!