Glenn's Weekly Motivational-That Parenting Manual Exists!

October 29, 2019

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Becoming a parent is like a death in the family. Your death. However long you were going on your merry way, having yourself and life seemingly figured out, you realize you know nothing, and now your former self has passed on.

Oh sure, you can relive those moments through Facebook memories, wondering what you actually did with all your free time and utter selfishness. All those pictures of pick up and go vacations, going out to eat when YOU wanted to..Oh, and you had abs...and you smiled a lot more.

I realize I never had anxiety until I was a parent, and then I worried about everything. Will I raise kids like my mom, or will I acknowledge what she may have screwed up with me and go rebellious and rogue? Do I even want to be a part of such a selfless commitment? I was happy going out and doing things on my time, not the small window each day when all three of mine wouldn’t elicit judgy stares in the Target check out line...Although Wal-Mart shoppers wouldn’t bat an eye. What have I gotten myself into? And why do I keep making more? Not only is my former self dead, but now I can’t even remember who that person was. Did he have hair?

They say parenting doesn’t come with a manual, and that’s the furthest from the truth. Throughout the last 11 years that I’ve been reborn , I have read a ton of manuals about how to do it. One message that has become constant in every single piece of literature is this:

Parenting is not about kids. Parenting is about you.

What? It’s about the kids. It’s how we treat them, raise them, talk to them, what we give them. It sure as heck isn’t about me.

We look to our kids to be disciples of our word. Blindly following our commands or else. Encouraging them to just obey and have faith and hoping that they don’t make us angry. In fact, when we scream at our kids, we are basically asking them to make us feel better by doing what we say. We put the weight of keeping us from completely losing it on the shoulders of a 5 year old or angst-filled teenager. That’s why parenting is about us and how we react to the chaos.

Parenting is not about our kids doing everything right and being sheep so we don’t have to refill the anxiety meds. Parenting is about forming little humans that can think for themselves and solve problems by trial and error. Constant yelling causes them to close up. Forming a trust and allowing them to fail encourages respect and a willingness to tell you things..Like how that older boy is liking all your daughter's Tik Tok videos.

You can look at parenting in 2 ways. Death to your former self, or a rebirth into a new and improved you. The anxiety of it all means you are growing and figuring it out. Trust that feeling and learn to live in the uncomfortableness.

If all else fails, you can always head to Wal-Mart for that parental ego boost.

All my best as you figure out life and the relationships in it. Xoxox Glenn