Glenn's Weekly Motivational-I Wanna Know What Love Is

November 5, 2019

Photo by iStock / Getty Images Plus

Yes, it's a great Foreigner song, and a fair to middlin' cover by Mariah Carey, but how many of you really know what love is?

How many of you truly know how to love? Freely chosen love is the love we all want, the kind where you don’t have to tell someone how to love you, they just do..and yet it’s the love very few of us actually give or receive.

There was a monk named Bernard of Clairvaux who talked about the four levels of love:

1. Loving me for my benefit. This is completely self-centered love. What’s in it for me? How can I benefit? What will make me happy? No one else matters.

2. Loving you for my benefit. This is where the majority of us sit. I will love and do things for you, assuming it’s reciprocal and I get something out of it. Perhaps it’s validation, perhaps its something that builds my own self esteem. Maybe if I buy you flowers, you’ll sleep with me. It’s loving with conditions and it seems logical until you realize that you’re in it because of what YOU get out of it.

3. Loving you for your benefit. This is that angelic love you read about. The love where you just wanna please everyone and give them what they need and expect nothing in return. Although this sounds so great, it doesn’t really exist, yet you think it sounds good when you tell someone and it makes a great Facebook post. #Selfless

4. Loving me for your benefit. Think about that for a second. When you love yourself and focus on your wholeness, your place of calm, your mind and sanity, and your overall health, you are becoming the best you can be so that you don’t put that burden on others. It says you can take care of yourself so that others don’t have to. It’s the best kind of love you can give someone..Your best YOU....The love we should all strive for!!!

When we put the key to our happiness in other’s hands, it may work for a while. It may work for years, but eventually the other person will mess up, or forget, or worse... die. How will you manage?

Loving yourself for the benefit of others works for your kids, your spouse, your friends, and virtually everyone in your life. It’s not how others treat us, or what they do for us, it’s having the ability to control our reactions in a positive way.

Our kids will misbehave, and people will let you down. You can either force the people in your life into submission like you’re an animal trainer, or you can focus on the one and only thing you can control...yourself. Giving your best self to others is the key to nurturing and fulfilling relationships.. The kind where others don’t feel threatened and can relax and open up.

You wanna know what love is? It's an Urgent need to not be Cold As Ice, where it Feels Like The First Time and there's no Head Games.

There, got all the puns

All my best as you figure out your life and the relationships in it

Love, your Jukebox Hero, xoxox Glenn