Glenn's Weekly Motivational

September 25, 2018

How do you deal with conflict and how does it affect your anxiety?

Personally speaking, I find out that the way I deal with conflict also affects my anxiety. How many unresolved relationships do you have in your life?  If you’re like me, there are a bunch. When I say unresolved, I don’t mean getting to a point of perfection, but rather nagging questions that go unanswered and we deal with them in unhealthy ways that keep us up at night. We think about them, almost to the point of obsession. If they continue to be unresolved, we come up with a logical excuse in our minds as to what the reasons may be for someone’s behavior and then make that our truth when in reality, it is just a coping mechanism and a bad one at that.  It is a vicious cycle that will continue to breed over the years if not dealt with.

How can you deal with unresolved relationships and feelings in a healthy way?  You confront them one by one. Maybe it’s an ex-spouse that hurt you and you’ve kept those feelings bottled up. Maybe it's a parent-child relationship that doesn’t exist because neither knows where to begin. Maybe it’s a misunderstanding with your boss or co-worker. You have one of two choices, deal with the conflict by gossiping, staying up at night, drinking or doing drugs..Or, have a conversation.

Not all relationships can simply have a conversation, but if it’s available, take it. Schedule coffee, a lunch date, or simply email or Facebook someone. I tell friends who just can’t seem to figure out a relationship that sitting over a coffee or beer is the first step towards something healthy. At the very least, a lot of what you may have thought can be explained and that will begin to ease a small part of your anxiety. 

I know it’s uncomfortable to take the first step, but think about your quality of life and your mental health first. We are all victims of the overthinkers club and reducing that label is the first step in achieving a happy life.