3 Types Of Love: The Theory

December 3, 2018

A study has shown that we fall ini love at least three times in our lifetime. However, that doesn't mean necessarily with three people, no, this theory states that it's three different types of love sewn throughout a lifetime. It all just depends on what each person is ready for.

According to Elephant Journal, the three types of love are:

  1. The Love that Looks Right -- Thehe love that seems right.
  2. The Hard Love -- The love that we wished was right.
  3. The Love that Lasts -- The love that just feels right.

Elephant Journal describes the first love as

This is the love that appeals to what we should be doing for society’s sake—and probably our families. We enter into it with the belief that this will be our only love and it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t feel quite right, or if we find ourselves having to swallow down our personal truths to make it work because deep down we believe that this is what love is supposed to be. Because in this type of love, how others view us is more important than how we actually feel.

Their harsh but realistic description of the second love is 

The second is supposed to be our hard love—the one that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved. This is the kind of love that hurts, whether through lies, pain or manipulation.

Our second love can become a cycle, oftentimes one we keep repeating because we think that somehow the ending will be different than before. Yet, each time we try, it somehow ends worse than before.

Sometimes it’s unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even. There may be emotional, mental or even physical abuse or manipulation—most likely there will be high levels of drama. 

Rightfully so, their inspiration description of the third love goes like this

This is the love that comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible. It’s the kind where the connection can’t be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it. This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fits—there aren’t any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are. We are just simply accepted for who we are already—and it shakes to our core.

It isn’t what we envisioned our love would look like, nor does it abide by the rules that we had hoped to play it safe by. But still it shatters our preconceived notions and shows us that love doesn’t have to be how we thought in order to be true.

The team over at Elephant Journal did an amazing job going into depth as to how each love feels, looks and ends, no matter where you are in your life. In their conclusion, they wrote "Maybe we don’t all experience these loves in this lifetime, but perhaps that’s just because we aren’t ready to. Maybe the reality is we need to truly learn what love isn’t before we can grasp what it is. Possibly we need a whole lifetime to learn each lesson, or maybe, if we’re lucky, it only takes a few years. Perhaps it’s not about if we are ever ready for love, but if love is ready for us."

Read all about the 3 types of love here.