Have You Ever Done Anything This Embarassing?

I have a knack for embarrassing myself in front of delivery guys. Like the time I knew the Fed Ex was supposed to deliver my iPhone between 9 AM and 2 PM and thought I had time to do a face mask (it was a volcanic mud mask – which goes on charcoal gray, almost black), and let’s not forget about the super sloppy sweats and hair freshly blown dry in all it’s frizzy glory before the flat iron. Who would’ve thought I’d actually be the 1st stop in the area? Seriously, that never happens… right? The good news is I got my phone right away and the Fed Ex guy got a good laugh.

Or the time I was training my dogs to “respect” the front door – so my guests can come and go without worrying about the dogs getting out – I do this by putting them in a sit stay about 4 feet back from the door inside. It works great – and I can leave my front door wide open and my dogs know it’s off limits Every dog that comes into the house gets this training.

I was practicing this training with my dogs, with the door wide open. I was on the porch saying things like “stay” “no, I said stay” and “you stay there,” “you be a good boy and stay” for a good 10 minutes when I heard an irritated cough from the front sidewalk. Apparently, the UPS guy couldn’t see the dogs and thought I was really weird and talking to him. He got his signature and left. The good news? The dogs stayed…

But perhaps my most embarrassing happened the other day. Now, my front door has a window on either side of it, just so you have a visual. The mailbox is on the porch, so the mailman comes right up to the house. I was about to hop into the shower when I realized I needed to send a rebate that needed to be post marked by that days date. I wrapped up in a towel and hurried and stuffed the paperwork in an envelope. I knew I was cutting it close. I could kind of feel my towel loosen but didn’t think I was in danger of losing it…. until I opened the door quickly and realized not only did the quick movement help the towel come undone – my mailman was standing there on the porch… but I had to send this rebate…

Handing him the letter and contorting into a position to hide myself while trying to balance so that the towel didn’t fall completely off wasn’t the topper. It was the friendly gesture of him handing me my mail, a stack so big I needed 2 hands and had to reach to grab it while still trying to keep hidden and keep from losing the towel completely. Then realizing I had been hiding behind a window.


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